9 Years

                    Susee Mable May 20, 1941 - April 13, 2015

"In a face so full of meaning
As to almost make it glow."
- ‘It’s a Good Life If You Don’t Weaken’ by The Tragically Hip, written by Gordon Downie

"Watching you fall asleep
The sweetest dove in a dream."
- The Trip by Still Corners, written by Gregory Fraser Hughes

"Thinking how it used to be
Does she still remember times like these?
To think of us again?
And I do"
- Tangerine by Led Zeppelin, written by James Patrick Page

"If you miss the train I'm on
You will know that I am gone
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles

Not a shirt on my back
Not a penny to my name.
Lord, I can't go back home this-a way.

If you miss the train I'm on
You will know that I am gone
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles."
- 500 Miles by Hedy West, Bobby Bare, Charlie Williams, written by Hedy West, Kiyoshiro Imawano

 

Posted by: Suha

Happy Birthday

       

                                   

Susee Mable - Edwards Gardens - Toronto, 1988
Photo: Raju

 

Happy 81st Birthday Mummy! 

You were real and you were perfect. We love you. 💖

Posted by: Suha

The Woman Who Raised Me

 

 Susee in Chilukuru, Andhra Pradesh (1981)

I had the most pure, loving and beautiful mother.

She was my best friend, my shining light, my first love, my baby girl and my hero. Mummy was filled with kindness, laughter, prayer and goodness. She was as fun-loving as she was solemn and wise. She gave everything to my family: kept us healthy, safe, confident and happy. I’ve always appreciated my mother for all these qualities and for so much more. But to lose her prematurely to devastating illnesses forced me into deeper reflection. I’m surprised that such a courageous and loving person ever existed and that she was my mother. She was selflessness and unconditional love personified.

From the baby girl born in Narendrapuram to the woman she grew into: Mum always knew who she was. She was unwavering in her faith, lived as humbly as she did honourably and saw the best in everyone. Bullies may have tormented her but she never bowed down to them. She had the courage to face them, forgive them and carry on with her life time and time again. I’m astounded at her discipline, patience and commitment to a life of love, faith, hard work and principle—even when life was unfair, cruel and unrelenting.

My mother taught me to be compassionate, prayerful and hardworking. By example, she showed me how to stand up for what I believe in and to move forward with dignity and decency when people and situations try to pull me down. In her seventy-three plus years, she did what she could to lift up the lives of others. I couldn’t have made it in this world without the grace and love of the woman who raised me.

It’s been seven years since she passed away. There’s an empty chair and waves of indescribable grief but my mother’s legacy lives on through me.

My blessed, unforgettable Mummy: our beloved Susee Mable, we shan’t see her like again. 

Posted by: Suhasini

Photo: © Anandaraju Family Archives 

September 19

 

                          Susee, Suhasini and Anil. Photo by: Raju

 

Posted by: Suhasini

Golden: 50 Years Ago

August 2, 1971 - Lutheran Transfiguration Church,
Bhimavaram, Andhra Pradesh, India

 "There are some who bring a light so great to the world
that even after they have gone, the light remains."

 

Posted by: Suhasini

Photos: © Anandaraju Family Archives

Summer 1975

 

P. Daniel, Anil, Susee and Suha - G. Ross Lord Park

 

"I sit beside the fire and think
Of all that I have seen
Of meadow flowers and butterflies
In summers that have been."—J.R.R. Tolkien

Posted by: Suhasini

Happy 80th

 

Mummy, 

You were real and you were perfect. 

Happy 80th birthday! 

We love you.

Six Years

Susee Mable 1941-2015
(Gananoque, Ontario 1976)

 

It’s been six years since mom passed, but the hurt is as immediate as if it were this morning. I don’t think that feeling will ever change.

The days leading to, the day of and the days that followed are clear in my memory. I’ve never felt so dislocated in my life. However, within the heart of all these emotions, I still felt centered. My mother had always lead me in the right direction, she always knew I’d heed the sound of her voice. She is alive and well in my heart and leading me through the hurt to where I can locate myself again.

When I was in kindergarten, she held my hand and taught me how to find my way home in case I ever found myself alone. Six years may turn to forty and that's OK, I already know the way home.

 

Posted by: Anil

A Summer Yet To Be Known

 Susee Mable: May 20, 1941 - April 13, 2015

Anil, Susee and Suha,
Niagara Falls 1977
Photo by: Raju

Every day we live our lives on one side of an equation. The variable on the other side is still unknown or at the least, unclear. We have an idea, but that too is shaped by probabilities and it is this uncertainty that derives value in what we do know for certain and what we hope for at best.

When my mother passed away five years ago, it hit my family very hard. We were as prepared for it as we ever would be and did our best to honor mom. Each one of us is now treading a path through grief collectively and singularly as best we can. The heartache is ever present, and so too is the courage and strength which mom gifted to us. 

Photo by: Suha

The balance of the equation is in understanding the nature of a unique and irreplaceable relationship, its loss, its value and its effect on the self. The balance of the equation is the self—it’s all of us who remain. All of the love that was shared ends up at our door, like a gift. It’s difficult to accept at first, because it’s easily misunderstood. Time is what you’re left with, to take stock of a shared history, to appreciate and celebrate it. In those first moments of awareness of all that remains, a treasure trove of history is rediscovered; it comes in waves, sometimes we cry, sometimes we laugh, but mostly we smile at some long forgotten memory or series of memories, dawning a sliver of clarity and the realization that it was real—and it was beautiful. 

In death, we celebrate her life and the value she brought to ours, we rediscover on a daily basis a profound gift of unconditional love, like sunlight breaking into morning, emanating from down the hall, the voices of loved ones sipping tea and laughing, a summer yet to be known.

Posted by: Anil