Monday, April 13, 2020

A Summer Yet To Be Known


 Susee Mable: May 20, 1941 - April 13, 2015
Anil, Susee and Suha,
Niagara Falls 1977
Photo by: Raju

Every day we live our lives on one side of an equation. The variable on the other side is still unknown or at the least, unclear. We have an idea, but that too is shaped by probabilities and it is this uncertainty that derives value in what we do know for certain and what we hope for at best.

When my mother passed away five years ago, it hit my family very hard. We were as prepared for it as we ever would be and did our best to honor mom. Each one of us is now treading a path through grief collectively and singularly as best we can. The heartache is ever present, and so too is the courage and strength which mom gifted to us. 

Photo by: Suha


The balance of the equation is in understanding the nature of a unique and irreplaceable relationship, its loss, its value and its effect on the self. The balance of the equation is the self—it’s all of us who remain. All of the love that was shared ends up at our door, like a gift. It’s difficult to accept at first, because it’s easily misunderstood. Time is what you’re left with, to take stock of a shared history, to appreciate and celebrate it. In those first moments of awareness of all that remains, a treasure trove of history is rediscovered; it comes in waves, sometimes we cry, sometimes we laugh, but mostly we smile at some long forgotten memory or series of memories, dawning a sliver of clarity and the realization that it was real—and it was beautiful

In death, we celebrate her life and the value she brought to ours, we rediscover on a daily basis a profound gift of unconditional love, like sunlight breaking into morning, emanating from down the hall, the voices of loved ones sipping tea and laughing, a summer yet to be known.

Posted by: Anil
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