Susee Mable's Silent Meditations

                                  Susee, Suhasini and Anil. Photo by: Raju   Posted by: Suhasini

Susee, Anil and Suha (1978) Photo: Raju "Thou art thy mother's glass and she in thee Calls back the lovely April of her prime." —Shakespeare (Sonnet III) Posted by: Suha

Susee Mable (centre) with Anil (far left), nephews, Rajini's sister and Sasikala Whether it was her son or daughter, her patients, her nieces and nephews, babysitters or children in the community; my mother Susee Mable was a beacon of light and comfort to all. She was a mother and a safe space rolled in one. She was born with a maternal instinct and the ability to selflessly and unconditionally give her love, time and assistance without judgment. The photograph above, taken in Sangareddy, India in 1972 is a classic in our collection of family photographs. It not only displays my mother's gentle and timeless beauty but the host of children who were always happy and safe in her presence. The two nephews pictured above, in fact begged my father to accompany him on the two hour bus journey into Sangareddy just to spend time with my mother. She was a wonderful aunt. She guarded her young relatives with her wings and showered them with affection. Mum even went out of her w...

"Thou art thy mother's glass and she in thee Calls back the lovely April of her prime." —Shakespeare (Sonnet III) Posted by: Suhasini

With Mum at the helm, ours was a happy family life. She brought so much love and joy into our lives and taught us to explore our world with curiosity and kindness. Our first trip to the Toronto Zoo in 1979, filled with giraffes, monkeys, lions and aquatic life (among others), was an absolute delight; and not just because of our animal friends but because of Mum's cheerful spirit and wide-eyed wonder. She was a treasure, and not just as a wife and mother but as a nurse, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a human being and a child of God. We enjoyed every minute of our time together. Posted by: Suhasini; Photograph by: Raju (Dad), © Anandaraju Family Archives

Christmas Eve 2014 Christmas Day 1979 December 25, 2014 was our last Christmas with our beloved Chantoda/Susee Mable—loving mother to Anil and Suha and beloved wife to P.D. Anandaraju. And it was a glorious one. Despite Mum's illness, we had a happy day filled with love, laughter, music and joy. I did my best to cook the Indian feast she always prepared for us every holiday season. It was my turn to step up and luckily, she had taught me everything I needed to know well in advance. In fact, she'd been preparing me my whole life. The tree was radiant and overflowing with gifts. The first photograph above is from our last Christmas Eve together and is unintentionally apt. Like the angel on the tree with the radiant lights—Mum was our Christmas Angel, always shining bright. She was the heart and soul of our family. The second photograph is from Christmas 1979 . I remember vividly, Mum asking my brother and I to wait for her to at least get out of be...

Thousand Islands Gananoque, Ontario 1977 Posted By Suhasini

Anil, Susee and Suha (June 17, 1997) Convocation Hall, University of Toronto Posted by Suhasini

Posted by Suhasini

First memory: Yellow flowers in a bed of ice crystals: brown eyes, the closeness and full volume of love, the dewy sweet breath of summer, your face eclipsing the sun. I paced the room quietly, mind racing and heart pounding as images emerged like stills in a vintage projector, a Kodachrome of bright colors and grainy transitions, a lifetime of memories playing out simultaneously: picnicking by the Rideau Canal, camping up at Keswick, Christmases, first days of school, first days of summer, sitting in waiting rooms, waking from surgeries, drinking tea, delicious fish curries, a pristinely white nursing uniform, the cold bite of winter on her cheek, warm hugs and kisses, collectively, a full and complete celebration of life, every moment recorded by memory, magnified and savored, sacred with meaning. That night when I called for an ambulance, I knew in my heart that mom wouldn’t be coming back home. The dispatcher kept me on the line for forty-five minutes assessing the ...